Adonai

I was invited to the Cathedral of Praise last Sunday, November 11 during their 6 PM SUNDAY NIGHT LIVE (SNL) service. Since I attended our church (Diliman Campus Bible Church) service in the morning, I had a mindset that I would just attend for the sake of experience.

When the clock striked 5 in the afternoon, I began to prepare, dressed up and scurried to Taft Avenue. From Cubao, I took the MRT and then the LRT1. I had mixed emotions while I was on my way. I felt so anxious because it was my first time to attend their service. I knew beforehand that the nature of their service is totally opposite from ours. While we sing solemn hymns, they sing vibrant praise and worship. While we follow a liturgy or an order, theirs is spontaneous. While we do not practice so much tongues and other supernatural manifestations of the Holy Spirit, they put great emphasis on those. I also felt so excited. Given the differences, I am so looking forward to what God will be doing that night. I am so looking forward to what I will be experiencing and witnessing on that night. Aside from being anxious and excited, I also felt backing out. I wanted to back out because I was stricken with shyness... Yeah, you read it right. You see, I was just invited therefore almost all of the people there are technically strangers to me. of course, except the one who invited me. But at the same time, I felt so impatient since I wanted to get to the venue early but transportation was very slow.

Yeah, mixed emotions...

So there. The SNL started on time and I was even late for around 10 minutes. I had preformed emotions when I entered the COP Hall. And I think those emotions limited me in becoming undignified for Christ. I had to observe, I had to see where I would fit... That limited me from seeing more of God's hands on that night... initially! But God was really sovereign. He was so persistent in making Himself Lord of that night. Though my emotions were preformed, He used those so i would experience Him.

During an altar call which followed after the challenges of following God's calling, we sang the song ADONAI. It was the first time I heard that song. It was the first time I sang that too. I knew what that word meant. I means LORD. I knew that all along. But how did God surprise me? He surprised me with a new and refreshing revelation of Himself as Lord. Here's the lyrics of the song:

One single drop of rain
Your salty tear became blue ocean
One tiny grain of sand turning in your hand
A world in motion
You're out beyond the furthest Morning Star
Close enough to hold me in Your arms

Adonai, I lift up my heart and I cry
My Adonai
You are the Maker of each moment
Father of my hope and freedom
Oh, my Adonai

One timid faithful knock
Resounds up the Rock of Ages
One trembling heart and soul
Becomes a servant bold and courageous
You call across the mountains and the seas
I answer from the deepest part of me

From age to age you reign in Majesty
And today You're making miracles in me

Adonai... In some aspects of my life, I am struggling with the Lordship of Christ. I am arrogant and prideful. I have dreams that I need to fulfill. I have plans that I need to accomplish and realize. But when faced with Jesus' will, am I ready to submit to it especially if my plans are contrary to His? I'm sure it is a struggle, bigtime! And so while singing that song, God poked me. Afterwhich He showed me what it means for me to call Him LORD.

I have thought, that I am creature of God, called to be a servant of the Kingdom and slave to the Gospel. I am unworthy, and I cannot claim equality to Christ or God. I am not willing to surrender anymore, or to follow the maddening crowd and even myself. Jesus is my Lord. I am only His servant.

I want to thank Pawecoy for inviting me that one memorable night. That night when I first learned to sing that song!